woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
