how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
