Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize