found the other keg... it's in the tree
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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