Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Bring me that man meat
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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