Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
