When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
