he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
