lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
