i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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