hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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