We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
