I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
