hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
