Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Someone signed my nipple.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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