Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I will pee on everything he values.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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