people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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