What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
