So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
