I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize