then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
my poor anus
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Randomize
