Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize