So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
