Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
