So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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