Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
