I love having hate sex.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
