Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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