What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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