I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
