my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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