It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is wine microwaveable?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize