did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
