I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
