Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
