You're my little dorito
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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