Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Randomize
