I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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