he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
