Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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