just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
