Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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