Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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