She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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