Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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