I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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