I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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