You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize