I bet he comes in French.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I believe in your delicious
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
