Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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