No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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