Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
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