morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
