I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
