I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
