i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
These tits shall not be calmed
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
