I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think your dad took our porno
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
