your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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