Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
