I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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