I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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