did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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