Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
