Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Your cock deserves a montage
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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