I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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