I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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