That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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